The Six Secret Ingredients For Single Mother Success
By Tomika Anderson
Tomika is a certified life coach and professional single-mom expert. She is the founder of Motivated Mamas, a mastermind and coaching business dedicated to single mother success. Tomika is a graduate of The Coach Training Academy.
A mastermind group can be the secret sauce for single mother success that goal-oriented single moms need to cook up the best possible lives for themselves and their children. Why?
Because they can provide notoriously time-and-money-strapped sole-providers the laser-focused support and tools they need to overcome obstacles that prevent their families from thriving.
“Within my (primarily mom) mastermind groups I feel like we have been able to make some serious strides, especially as it relates to finances,” says Tomika Anderson, certified life coach and founder of Motivated Mamas. “In one cycle:
- a woman left her job and moved into another one, thereby doubling her income.
- Another woman expanded her business.
- Another launched one.
- And another mom brought her credit score from poor to good,
and all with each other’s help.”
But who you choose to be a part of your "success village,” Anderson says, can make all the difference between a single mom floundering and flying.
"Single custodial moms are some of the most motivated people you'll ever meet because they’re aware they are their kids’ everything and try really hard to do right by them,” says Anderson. “It is so beneficial to work alongside other moms who absolutely ‘get’ how hard it can be to dream big and execute, where you’re at, all at once. But if you can come together with women who are just as committed to doing better while helping you too, that’s golden.”
That said, a mastermind can equal single mother success but sometimes it isn't for everyone.
Before you invest the time, money and energy, Anderson says there are 6 things moms should consider.
- It won't work without the right mindset. A mastermind isn’t for the “half in, half out”. You’ve got to be all-in to succeed. “The value of a Mastermind is continuing to show up and do the work when the going gets rough,” she says. “When you’re exhausted. When you’re discouraged. When you don’t know how. When your goals aren’t manifesting as quickly as you’d hoped,” she adds “There are days you’ll have to lovingly push yourself, as you will your co-collaborators because you’re working late, the kids need to be fed, the laundry has to be done and the rent needs to be paid. But on the other side of all the obstacles are the life-altering breakthroughs—breakthroughs that can change the trajectory of a family’s future,” Anderson says of achievements like:
- better learning how to save for retirement or for a child’s education,
- supporting kids through emotionally taxing issues like divorce or fatherlessness or
- successfully petitioning for child support or for that raise at work.
- Distractions have got to go—even if you love them. “Hiring a babysitter or having a friend or family member to watch small children during weekly or bi-weekly Mastermind sessions will allow you to focus during the designated time you’ve set aside to work on your family’s growth,” says Anderson. “That time is sacred. You’re only as productive as you are fully present, and that goes for meetings as well as the hours you find in your limited schedule each week to advance on your goals.
- It's critical to get crystal clear on what matters. “It’s tempting to want to come to a Mastermind group with a laundry list of goals and objectives,” says Anderson, “but resist. “Trying to cover too much ground all at once limits your productivity. Decide what your chief priorities are, and how they can have a positive domino effect on the secondary and tertiary ones. Journaling about what you most wish to have accomplished at the end of a Mastermind cycle before you start will help keep you honest.”
- Be prepared to be as accountable to others as you are to yourself. Invest in others as much as you invest in yourself and others will go the distance on your behalf. Whether it’s helping you apply for a grant or connecting you to an excellent attorney... when the “family” wins everyone does.
- Without deadlines, it's tough to keep your promises—or momentum. While it may be tempting to give yourself an entire year to make headway on a goal, the truth is the more time you give yourself, the less likely you are to achieve it. Why? Because it can slip off your radar, only to be replaced by other “priorities.” Either that or you can psych yourself out altogether. Strike while the iron is hot! “Ninety days is recommended,” says Anderson. This way, you’ll have no choice but to make moves each week until you’ve checked that long-held goal off your list.
- An "accept no excuses" attitude will take you further than you ever imagined. A can-do attitude, despite where you’ve been, what you’ve seen and what you’ve experienced, is the most powerful tool of all. It’s all the difference, for example, between moving your family out of a cramped apartment to a home you own. You have to believe, no matter how long it takes, you can do it. That spirit is infectious. Before you know it everyone else has met their goals, too.
"Accept No Excuses" equals Single Mother Success!
An award-winning content creator and communications strategy consultant, Tomika has contributed to such U.S. and international outlets as Entertainment Weekly, The Associated Press, Time Out New York, Essence, The Root.com, National Journal, Ebony, Black Enterprise, People, New York, MTV, BET, The CW Network, Fuse, FOX News and CNN.com, and worked with celebrities ranging from Beyonce to Michelle Obama to Serena Williams. Her passion is single mother success through coaching and training to help other moms traverse through the challenges for a happy successful life.
Where to connect with Tomika