Leadership Coach, Faisal Khattak, Asks One Very Important Question: Would you rather always play perfect & nice or be happy by being AUTHENTIC ?
As a certified leadership coach, I am always looking for ways to go deeper, not only with my clients but with myself. So recently I took my dear friend and great mentor Dov Baron’s suggestion, I started reading old entries from my journal and this is what I found;
Why I want to be PERFECT?
Because this is what my parents always taught me. I had to be perfect in studies. If I got 2nd place among 50 other kids in my class, that wasn’t good enough. Only 1st place would have made them happy. I had to behave and be nice all the times and watch my manners in front of OTHERS around us. I had to finish all my meals even if I didn’t like, what was served. I had to follow the religion to a T. I could never have long hair because my father believed that it was not nice for boys to have long hair (maybe that’s why I am bald now, forced manifestation?). He didn’t believe in kids watching TV, listening to songs on radio or simply hanging around with friends because those things might make me bad and not NICE anymore.”
I found that I learned to be PERFECT and NICE subconsciously. I wanted to prove to myself and tell this world that I am PERFECT and NICE. Worst part is that I was subconsciously teaching the same things to my daughters til a year ago, since I was programmed this way by my parents… Rings a bell to you?
Things have changed now. I have scraped off the mask made of PERFECT and NICE. What’s showing up underneath is the AUTHENTIC me. Sometimes it is hard to be authentic and easy to just play the old NICE game. It’s like putting water on a healing wound, it stings. But it feels awesome to be just me and teach the same to my daughters and share authentic me with my wife.
Does this resonate with you?
Are you being restricted by PERFECTIONISM and always playing NICE, even when at times your inside voice wants to scream and say “F*ck you all, I need to do what I love to”? Be AUTHENTIC with yourself and for your loved ones. Be who you really are without any masks. Over time you will surround yourself with the ones who like the real you and support you in your dreams. You will never have to waste time and energy, just to make others happy for the wrong reasons (they will never be happy anyway).
Certified Leadership Coach
We at The Coach Training Academy are so proud of our former students that are really stepping out into the world and making a difference. Faisal, we appreciate your insightful article and challenge to be our authentic selves.